The Problem: Self-Minimization in the Presence of Authority and Success
There’s a strange shift that happens in certain social interactions—when faced with someone in a position of authority, a person with an official title, or someone who is financially successful, confidence seems to disappear.
Instead of standing firm in who they are, they unconsciously shrink in response. This manifests in several ways:
- Downplaying achievements and identity – Instead of saying, “I’m a philosopher,” they might say, “I just write a bit.” Instead of owning “I run a business,” they say, “I do some online work.” The instinct is to soften their identity, as if claiming it too firmly might invite scrutiny or dismissal.
- Speaking in an overly deferential way – They might start praising the other person excessively, as if placing them on a pedestal. Their words become extra polite, extra careful, as though walking on eggshells to avoid offending or challenging the person’s status.
- Feeling hesitant to mention personal success – Even if they’ve written books, built something significant, or accomplished something meaningful, they feel an urge to hide it or downplay it in certain company. It’s as if acknowledging success would be seen as arrogance, or as if their achievements are not “real” enough to be claimed proudly.
- Automatically assuming the other person is superior – If the person has more money, a corporate title, or just seems established, they are unconsciously viewed as above in some way. There’s an automatic self-positioning as “lesser,” even when there’s no logical reason to do so.
- Adopting submissive body language – Without realizing it, posture shifts—shoulders hunch, eye contact is avoided, voice becomes softer. The entire presence becomes smaller, signaling a subconscious belief in the other person’s greater importance.
- Tying self-worth to external markers like money or titles – If they feel they have money in their pocket, they don’t act this way. But if they believe the other person has more wealth or a higher status, they default to self-minimization. It’s an ingrained belief that financial success determines who deserves to take up more space.
- The fear of being questioned – The deeper fear is that if they firmly say, “I am a philosopher,” someone will challenge them: “Oh really? What makes you a philosopher?” There’s a discomfort in being the only one to claim the title, because without external validation (a degree, a company, an institution), it feels like it might not be “legitimate” enough to say out loud.
All of these behaviors happen automatically, even when the person knows they are unnecessary. It’s a learned habit, developed from early experiences with criticism, lack of validation, and societal conditioning that places titles and wealth on a pedestal.This is the problem—a reflexive, unconscious self-shrinking in the presence of external power, even when there is no real reason to do so.
Why Money Cannot Be the Source of Self-Assurance
Money Is a Byproduct, Not the Cause
- A person does not become a great writer, philosopher, or entrepreneur because they make money.
- They make money because they fully own their identity and continue producing value—whether or not money follows.
If Confidence Comes From Money, It’s Not True Confidence
- If a person only feels confident when they have money in their pocket, then what happens if they lose it?
- True self-possession remains unchanged, whether there is wealth or not.
Some of the Greatest Minds Were Broke
- Many of the world’s greatest philosophers, writers, and thinkers had no wealth in their lifetime, yet they were completely certain of who they were.
- Their confidence did not come from money—it came from knowing what they had created was real.
THE SOLUTION: You Are the Thing Now—Not “One Day”
One of the biggest mental traps people fall into is the idea that they will “become” something real only after achieving external success. They believe that they will truly be a writer, philosopher, entrepreneur, or artist once they make money, receive recognition, or gain approval from others.
But this mindset keeps them in a state of perpetual waiting. They never fully own their identity now, because they are always postponing it to some undefined future moment when they believe they will have “earned” it.
The Illusion of ‘One Day’
Many people unknowingly tell themselves:
- “One day, when my books sell well, I’ll really be a writer.”
- “One day, when my business is making six figures, I’ll be a real entrepreneur.”
- “One day, when people respect my ideas, I’ll be a real philosopher.”
But the problem is, that “one day” never actually arrives. Even when they reach those external milestones, the goalpost moves.
- They sell books, but then think, “Well, I’m still not a bestseller, so maybe I’m not really a great writer yet.”
- They start a business, but then think, “It’s not big enough yet. I’m not a ‘real’ entrepreneur.”
- They receive praise, but then think, “Some people still don’t take me seriously. Maybe I need more recognition.”
By postponing their self-belief until some external condition is met, they never allow themselves to fully become the thing they already are.
You Are the Thing Now
At the core of this realization—“You are the thing now, not one day”—is a fundamental truth about identity and being. The reason this is not just positive thinking, self-affirmation, or an act is because it is based on existence, not validation.
1. Being vs. Pretending
What makes something real is not external recognition—it is the fact that it exists and is being lived.
- A writer writes—that alone makes them a writer.
- A philosopher thinks, questions, and teaches ideas—that alone makes them a philosopher.
- An entrepreneur builds something from nothing—that alone makes them an entrepreneur.
The mistake people make is believing that being something requires external proof. But proof is not what makes something real—existence does.
If something is happening, then it is real. The only thing that creates doubt is the mind’s conditioned belief that it must be recognized externally to count.
2. Why External Recognition Is an Illusion
Recognition, money, or validation do not create reality—they only reflect it.
- If a writer’s book sells millions, does that suddenly make them “more” of a writer than they were before?
- If a philosopher gains followers, does that change the fact that they were already thinking deeply before anyone listened?
- If an entrepreneur’s business takes off, does that mean they weren’t a real entrepreneur before the success arrived?
External markers do not create reality—they only reveal what was already true.
This is why waiting for recognition before believing in oneself is backward thinking.
3. The Difference Between Delusion and Truth
Some might ask: “But what if someone is just calling themselves something they’re not?”
The difference between delusion and truth is action.
- Someone who calls themselves a writer but never writes is engaging in self-deception.
- Someone who calls themselves an entrepreneur but never builds anything is pretending.
- Someone who calls themselves a philosopher but never thinks deeply or shares ideas is only playing a role.
But the person who is doing the thing—even before money, recognition, or status—already is the thing.
4. Being Is What Makes It Real
The deepest truth beneath all of this is that being something is what makes it real—not saying it, not proving it, not getting recognition for it.
A tree does not need someone to call it a tree for it to be a tree.
A river does not need a sign that says “river” to exist.
A writer does not need a bestseller label to be a writer—they write.
A philosopher does not need a title to be a philosopher—they think and teach ideas.
This is why the truly self-possessed do not need to announce their identity. They simply exist in it, because they know that being it is what makes it real—not external validation.
5. The Ultimate Shift: Owning What Already Exists
The moment a person fully accepts this, everything changes. There is no more hesitation, no more waiting, no more doubt. They move differently—not because they are “trying” to be something, but because they already are.
They don’t need to prove it.
They don’t need permission.
They don’t need recognition.
They just are. And that is what makes it real.
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